Douchebag Gunners: A Thoughtful Post

Because no one is as amused by how people find their way here as I am, I will give in to the masses and stop posting about it.¹

In the meantime, there has been much discussion about douchebag gunners in this post, so I thought I'd share a disturbing and horrifying revelation with all of you.

There are douchebag gunners in the upperclasses, too.

I was shocked (shocked!). Here we were in criminal procedure (which is so incredibly boring that it will someday get its own post), minding our own business² and listening to the professor explain how defendants have the right to have a judicial finding of probable cause or some similarly easy-to-understand concept, when a guy with a really bad hair cut in the front row raises his hand.

I sit sorta across from him (but not in the front row³), so I got a clear view of this. Before I relay what he said, please go back and re-read the preceding paragraph in order to remind yourself that this was a very simple concept that we the prof was discussing.

DG: I just had a question about something that seems like it could be a big issue--

Prof: Actually, this won't ever become a big issue--

DG: It just seems like this issue might become--

Prof: Well the Supreme Court isn't going to go backwards, so--

DG: I just wanted to know what the historical and philosophical justifications for the binding the Fourth Amendment...

...and then he lost me.

Dude, WTF? If it had been an evidence class, I would have raised a relevancy objection to his question. I looked around the room, and those who were actually paying attention wore expressions to mirror my own.

That is douchebag gunnery at its worst. I won't begrudge someone who simply answers a question, as I am guilty of that myself. I won't even begrudge someone who asks a question for clarification, because it's stupid to front like you know something if you don't. I might even let someone slide for coming up with a hypothetical, as long as they are amusing.

But when you both (1) ask something completely irrelevant and (2) try to sound smarter than you likely are, you are the epitome of douchebag gunnery. And I won't stand for it.⁴

This rant has been brought to you by the letter "G" and the number "33."

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¹ Unless we get one that is objectively amusing. Then I can't promise you anything.
² Read: playing desktop taipei and wishing more people were on AIM at 9:30 in the morning.
³ I would have sat in the back row, but people got there way early in order to secure the seats where their laptops would reach the plugs. Bitches.
⁴ I don't know exactly what I'll do about it, but I certainly won't stand. I might sit and play Tetris, though. Or continue to post about how annoying it is. *shrugs* I suppose we'll have to wait and see.